5 Goofy Video Game Weapons

Weapons are pretty important in video games. While most games let you fight battles with guns, blades and magic – which is a lot more fun than fixing your problems with dialogue – there are other titles that have a not-so-conventional arsenal. Even the most serious ones may have some goofy weapons of war shoved in a secret area, or hidden deep within the game’s code.

From building utensils to healing-blades, these are five goofy video game weapons.


Quake Disruptor, Wipeout 2097

Wipeout 2097 is a futuristic racing game created by British developers Psygnosis. Instead of racing cars or carts, you ride in hovercrafts zipping along race tracks at top-speed to the tune of British electronica bands, like The Prodigy and Fluke. Weapons could be used in Wipeout 2097 to help give racers the edge, only this time they could damage enemy shields and put opponents out of the race for good.

The Quake Disruptor is a high-power seismic earthquake shockwave weapon that sends a tidal-wave of concrete ahead, disorientating and damaging racers in front of you – a bit like making waves with a carpet by grabbing its edges and giving it a good flick.

It may be bizarre, but it sure is effective. Anything goes in the year 2097, baby!

This is the future, ergo it’s legal.


Dagger of Friendship, The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion

In the medieval role-playing game The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion, you could get your hands on all sorts of blades, daggers, axes, bows, and deadly spells. Its major expansion pack The Shivering Isles contains a new world to explore, known as the Realm of Madness. This bizarre world is home to many oddities, one of which is the Dagger of Friendship.

This small knife will deal 10 points of damage against enemies, but will also instantly heal them 10 points of health in return. The healing instantly negates the damage dealt, making it an utterly-useless instrument of war. The only thing it’s good for is the Museum of Oddities in the town of Crucible, where it can be put on display in exchange for a handful of gold.

World’s worst dagger/ best back scratcher.


Brick, TimeSplitters series

The TimeSplitters trilogy is a bizarre series of first-person shooters. As you travel through different time zones, battling with cowboys, zombies, robots and even monkeys, a wide range  of guns from the past and future are at your disposal. Thanks to some very generous customization features in its multiplayer mode, you could slap shotguns and plasma rifles in a 1930’s nightclub, if you so wish.

Weirdly enough, each TimeSplitters game has a special unlockable weapon: the mighty brick. Pelting bricks at gun-toting enemies is a lot of fun, and even does quite a lot of damage!

Why bother blasting time-traveling aliens with a homing missile launcher, when you can humiliate them by tossing building materials at their ugly faces?

The power of God is in your hands now.


Rocks, Call of Duty: World at War

If you were expecting the beloved Ray Gun from the World War II first-person shooter Call of Duty: World at War to appear on this list, then you’d be wrong. There is an even weirder weapon to use in this one.

A secret unlockable cheat for cooperative-mode took away all of your guns. Consequently, had to fight your battles with a knife and an infinite supply of infinite dud grenades, i.e. rocks. Sure, a sniper rifle or a machine gun may sound like wiser choices to fight the Second War War with, but these rocks inflict heavy damage. In fact, they are so powerful, tossing a few of them at enemy tanks will destroy them!

Strange how the history books never mentioned about soldiers to fought battles with rocks.


Cardboard Tube, Hitman Contracts

In the Hitman series, players takes control of the mysterious assassin known only as 47, and must travel around the world to defeat dangerous, high-profile targets with all sorts of gadgets and weapons.

It was impossible to find the Cardboard Tube in the third game, Hitman Contracts, without cheating. It was a joke weapon that the developers slipped into the game’s coding, and not only will it kill anyone in a single hit, but it would also send them flying. This was a reference to a Penny Arcade comic featuring a samurai with a similar weapon.

Cardboard tubes are not the most ideal choices for a killer, though how 47 is able to turn one into one of the deadliest weapons in the game is a mystery that may remain unsolved to this day…

“He’s packin’ cardboard! Shoot him!”

Do you know any weapons in video games that are quite goofy? Be sure to drop your thoughts below, and share this article with your friends!

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